Friday, August 28, 2015

Stress, Missed Quiz and a Rude Professor

So at my University you are required to take Old and New Testament courses. Last semester I took Old Testament and I did not do so well in it, and the professor in that class had some weird beliefs, But  I still passed.

Anyway, this year I am taking New Testament. So I am into my second week of classes and NT is only two day a week. On Tuesday morning after class ended, I walked up to my Professor and told him that I would not be in class Thursday morning. I had some family issues that need to be dealt with and that I was not at liberty to talk about what was going on when he asked what I needed to skip class. I told him I could come on Wednesday or Friday between 12-2, and he told me to come in on Friday at 12.

So I went to his office at 12 and told him I was there to take the quiz that I missed yesterday. He looked at me angerly and asked why I was not in class. I told him that I came up to him Tuesday after class and said I had family issues that needed to be resolved, and he replied with I vaguely remember that and proceeded to tell me that it was my responsibility to take the test and quizzes when they are scheduled. I said that I understood but that we had mutually agreed that it was okay for me to skip class on Thursday and take the quiz at 12 on Friday.
He then asked is I could come back at two which I told him that I had a class at that time then he asked if I could come back at one which I said I could.

It just makes me mad that he was so rude about it when we mutually agreed to a day and time.

Sunday, August 16, 2015


One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it.   The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, 'Good morning Alex.'  'Good morning Pastor,' he replied, still focused on the plaque. 'Pastor, what is this?' The pastor said, 'Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.' Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque.    Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, 'Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:45?' 

Tuesday, August 11, 2015


Lost and alone
Nobody is home.
In a corner you hide
From everybody outside.
You do things you're not supposed too
But the voices have this alluring coo.
What have you done?
It's time to run.
You leave with no goodbyes
Just to run and hide.
But you can't get away
Because the voices are at bay.

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Lying Love

You look at me with loving eyes
all the while speaking lies
with one hand you hold my heart
the other holds a deadly dart
to pierce the love, I thought I knew
but in the end the lie was you

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Have you ever felt alone?

       I have, and it does not feel great. I hate it at times, but I like sometimes, but not all. When I was in Highschool, I always felt all alone at church. Even though my three closest friends were right next to me, I still felt alone, and I do not know why.  One time when I had left the first service I pulled out my MP3 Player and started listening to music on my way to the Block. As I was walking, I saw this teenager walking to the block too. I just walked passed him while singing "Remembering Sunday" By All Time Low. As I got closer to the doors, I felt someone flick my hair.    
       When I turned around to see who it was, it was the boy I had passed. It was Cody, a good friend of mine that I had not seen or talked to in weeks. When we reached the block I was smiling but when we walked through the doors everything changed. I felt different. Laura was running late, but that was normal. As I sat across from Cody, Jared, and their girlfriends, I felt left out for some reason. I felt like I did not belong. Before we walked into the auditorium, I was attacked from behind by Laura. When I turned to give her a hug, I saw she brought a friend.  Sitting in the auditorium listening to Matt preach or trying to hear, there was a lot on my mind. What was bothering me was that I feel like I was reliving my past. My past consisted of friends leaving, lying, and a lot more. I hated my past. Well, to make a long story short I just felt alone, and I do not want to be in my past ever again.

Monday, August 3, 2015

College Starts Back in Two Weeks!

Well, my second year of college starts back in two weeks and am I excited about it? Yes and NO.

       No, because My roommate is driving me up a wall! At the beginning of summer, she texted me asking me to lie for her. Back in December she got the Harry Potter Books for Christmas from her friends in Canada (Whom her parents do not know about), and she bought the first four or five movies. I do not like Harry Potter! So when her parents found out about the Harry Potter stuff, she flat out told them that I gave them to her and then had the nerve to ask me to lie to her parents if they asked me. I was so mad that I tweeted "I do not like Harry Potter. Never have and never will. Sorry if this offends you, but it is my opinion." A couple of days after that she texted me saying she told her parents the truth.
       She just doesn't have respect for those around her. She stays up until the crack of dawn on her computer skyping her Canadian friends while I am trying to sleep. (I love Canadians do not get me wrong.) She leaves the T.V. on all night and talks on the phone while I am in the middle of writing papers. I do go to the library sometimes, but because I was homeschooled it is just easier for me to study in my room than in a library or a coffee shop.
        The school that I go to is a Christian school, and because it is they do not think it is enough to go to church on Sundays, so they decided to make the whole student body go to Chaple three times a week and they only give you eight skips a semester. If you miss more than eight times, you get suspended and get put on a "Chapel probation." I am not excited about that.
        I'll miss my best friend who I only got to see for two weeks before he left for a three-month mission trip. He did promise that we would have lunch when he gets back, so I am excited for that.
       I am also not excited because I do not have a car.
        Yes, because I am out of the house and in my space and my schedule. I do not have to take my sisters to their different outings and run to the store for mom. I do not have to tell my parents where I am going and what time I'll be back even though I am Twenty. My mom is not in my face shoving Christianity down my throat 24/7. I mean Christianity is not a bad thing, but I think I get enough of it from church and the CHRISTIAN school that I already go to.
            Where my school is located, is about an hour from my hometown, I am far enough away from home yet close enough to go home on the weekends if I please.
            I am excited to go back because of the friends I made there; that do not live in Kentucky. I cannot wait to hear about their summer and where they have been. Moreover, I cannot wait to share about mine.
             All in all, I am excited and not excited to go back to school like most college students. I am thinking about doing school online while working. Why? I like to work and earn money to pay off the ridiculous amounts of loans I have to pay back because a job on campus does not pay enough when you can only work two or three days a week while doing school.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Confidence and Self-Confidence.

      People may have confidence in other individuals or forces beyond their control. For instance, one might have faith in the police to protect them, or might have confidence that a sports team will win a game. Faith and trust are synonyms of confidence when used in this sense. The socio-psychological concept of self-confidence relates to self-assuredness in one's personal judgment, ability, power, etc., sometimes manifested excessively. Being confident in yourself is infectious if you present yourself well, others will want to follow in your footsteps towards success.
         A couple of years ago at church I got on to a very dear friend of mine. I yelled at him for not telling me that my "best friend" purposely pushed me away. I was on the edge of tears. I did not know if I could take any more secrets.
        "Did you ever think that it was for your sake?" He asked. I stood there and thought about it before shaking my head.
"Now I do not know what's going on with so and so but all I know is that they are all caught up with their boyfriend right now. I have not hung out with them for months. I mean sure I've said hi to them when I see them I gave them a ride here today, but that is it."
         I looked at him and said, "All I want is honesty." He just nodded.
         "Have I every lied to you?" he asked. I shook my head knowing he has never lied to me. "Look in high school nobody wants to feel alone. People like you and me we always need someone. In life there will be people that will tear you done and make you feel like crap but...I'm gonna be honest with you...If you don't have confidence in yourself then when they do tear you down you will feel more alone than you did before.You have that personality that. Like someone, whole will start a campaign or a riot. You are one of those people that will follow their passion. I do not know what you are passionate about, but whatever it is you need the confidence to follow through with it. Now there is false confidence but that is where you come off confident when you are just scared. What I am talking about is being confident inside and out. Now I do not know if this is making any sense but I hope it does.Now I do not want you just to think about what I just said I want you to apply it."
             I apologized to him several times for yelling at him and after being told to stop apologizing I took my sisters and left the church. Ever time I talk to him I feel so much better. I am thankful that he was honest with me and calm even though I was not.
             I hope that if you read this that it made some sense. Now I know you do not know my friend but if you do you should understand how he words things. Even if you do not know him, and you have someone who phrases sentences like him, then you should understand or somewhat understand what he is telling me.